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i ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk?  
12:29am 13/04/2008
 
 
john jolley
his whole abdomen would move up and down, farting out the words.  it was unlike anything i ever heard, a bubbly, thick, stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.  see this man worked for the carnival, and it started as a kind of novelty ventriloquist act.  but after a while the ass started talking on it's own, he'd go on without anything prepared and the ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.  then it developed sort of teeth like little raspy incurving hooks, it started eating...he thought this was cute at first and he built an act around it, but the asshole would eat it's way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting about how it wanted equal rights...it would get drunk, too, and have crying fits, nobody loved it, it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth.  finally it talked day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming for it to shut up, beating at it with his fists, sticking candles up it but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him "IT IS YOU WHO WILL SHUT UP IN THE END NOT ME BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED YOU AROUND HERE ANYMORE!  I CAN TALK AND EAT AND SHIT!"  and after that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpole tail all over his mouth, he would tear it off and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly, and grow there.  so finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have amputated spontaneously except for the eyes, see, that's the one thing the asshole couldn't do, was see.  it needed the eyes.  

nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn't give orders anymore.  it was trapped inside the skull, sealed off.  for a while you could see the silent helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes...and then finally the brain must have died because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab's eye at the end of a stalk.

[all apologies to the memory of W.S.B. for the misappropriation of his work, but the routine struck me as such an uncanny summary of everything written on this...blog...up to this point, and indeed of the unfortunate high school experience it represents, that i couldn't resist using it as a ludicrously  belated nail in the stinky coffin this LJ's become since my starting it 4 or 5 years ago...we'll see where it goes from here, i suppose]
 
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the golden mushroom mix christmas 06  
04:30am 22/12/2006
 
 
john jolley
01 el-p - interlude (from fantastic damage)
02 stereolab - diagonals
03 coil - are you shivering
04 isotope 217 - looking after life on mars
05 tortoise - tnt (nobukazu takemura mix)
06 nine inch nails - only (el-p mix)
07 craw - caught my tell
08 cannibal ox - scream phoenix
09 david bowie - rock and roll suicide
10 kaki king - second brain
11 bill laswell - nothing
12 tortoise ft. bonnie prince billy - daniel
location: Del Mar, CA
mood: cold
 
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YOU'VE BEEN DEFACED  
12:40am 20/12/2006
 
 
john jolley
///EDIT (defaced?)

when i was in grade school i wanted to grow up to be carl sagan.

location: Del Mar, CA
music: Wire - Indirect Enquiries
 
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catharsis  
11:24am 22/10/2006
 
 
john jolley
Sunday morning, praise the dawning
Its just a restless feeling by my side
Early dawning, sunday morning
Its just the wasted years so close behind

Watch out, the worlds behind you
Theres always someone around you who will call
Its nothing at all

Sunday morning and Im falling
Ive got a feeling I dont want to know
Early dawning, sunday morning
Its all the streets you crossed, not so long ago

Watch out, the worlds behind you
Theres always someone around you who will call
Its nothing at all

Watch out, the worlds behind you
Theres always someone around you who will call
Its nothing at all

Sunday morning
Sunday morning
Sunday morning
music: bonobo
 
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. . .. ... ..... ........ ............. .....................  
01:36am 21/10/2006
 
 
john jolley
Here she comes, you better watch your step
She's going to break your heart in two, it's true
It's not hard to realize
Just look into her false colored eyes
She builds you up to just put you down, what a clown

'Cause everybody knows
(She's a femme fatale)
The things she does to please
(She's a femme fatale)
She's just a little tease
(She's a femme fatale)
See the way she walks
Hear the way she talks

You're put down in her book
You're number 37, have a look
She's going to smile to make you frown, what a clown
Little boy, she's from the street
Before you start, you're already beat
She's gonna play you for a fool, yes
it's true

'Cause everybody knows
(She's a femme fatale)
The things she does to please
(She's a femme fatale)
She's just a little tease
(She's a femme fatale)
See the way she walks
Hear the way she talks
location: ocean beach
mood: drunk
 
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back  
12:14pm 18/10/2005
 
 
john jolley
sort of. a halloween trash mix for a sixty minute tape:
___---Side A---___
The Butthole Surfers - Concubine
Flipper - Sex Bomb
Black Dice - Smiling Off (DFA remix)
The Jesus Lizard - Gladiator
Liars - Broken Witch

___---Side B---___
Company Flow - Comp
Arab on Radar - My Mind Is a Muffler
Adult. - Glue Your Eyelids Together
Wolf Eyes - Stabbed in the Face
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum - Sleep Is Wrong
Sonic Youth - Satan is Boring
Swans - Children Of God

something has changed. i was torn between two choices for my halfway-through-side-two pop track to keep the flow going and i picked Stabbed In The Face over Ca Plane Pour Moi by Plastic Bertrand. As the catchy single people would recognize. and didnt think anything of it till just now! so, noise is the new pop then? The Locust on FM radio? loving it.

Rain is fantastic. and clouds and lightning storms and october winds. ditching school, sleeping, reading (Sputnik Sweetheart by Murakami last weekend, Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas by Tom Robbins currently). Wrapped up in blankets in my cold wet garage with the heat lamp blasting behind me and a big mug of green tea. John : 1, World : 0.
mood: warm
music: Excepter - Forget Me
 
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best band ever  
11:43am 27/05/2005
 
 
john jolley
http://www.krzyzkross.tk/
music: KRZYZ KROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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.  
02:27pm 03/05/2005
 
 
john jolley
EDIT
///






it was my birthday on sunday and i actually feel older.
mood: very tired in love with life
music: Man or Astroman - A Spectrum Of Infinite Scale
 
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(no subject)  
03:09pm 24/04/2005
 
 
john jolley
there is definitely a tambourine breakdown in the middle of the first track of the new nine inch nails album. ill update about my absolutely ridiculous europe adventure later if i feel like it.
mood: sunday
music: prince - forever in my life
 
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goddamn  
07:22pm 07/04/2005
 
 
john jolley
man, last night people broke into my garage and stole my stereo, all my DVDs, my sister's Gamecube and Playstayion, all her games, and fucked up my mom's car (stole the stereo, the transmission, etc.). like, the night before i went in for fucking surgery. now i am bleeding from my mouth in a doped up haze on the couch with NOTHING TO FUCKING WATCH. but the fuckers obviously had no taste, as they left my Genesis, SNES, and all their games. know what im doing for the next few days...
mood: Freaking Pissed Off + Bleeding
music: Decemberists - Billy Liar
 
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